Yes!

I'm so awesome.

In my pursuit of complete narcissism I have completed another video blog.

Hope you bitches enjoy.

Spectacular Spektors

Dear blog:

It's been three days without a beer. I am starting to get frantic and snapping at people, mostly Forrest because he's the only one who seems to be around. I'm also listening to Regina Spektor, which is further proof that something has gone terribly wrong.

And here is something I should have put up a week ago. Diana and I officially have a dog now- years of planning for Itsy-Bitsy are out the window. Good news is the dog is cute. I'm not sure how old he is, but I do know it's a cross between a Shiz Tzu and a Bichon Frise.



Quickly: because when it gets late and I get lonely I tend to ramble, I want to say that I hate pretentious art-types. I was at coolhunting.com tonight when I saw the headline picture (of somebody holding a revolver, pointed at the camera, with only the barrel in focus) with the caption "Brad Webber is a Los Angeles based photographer and filmmaker who is fascianted [sic] with creating single frame films".

"Single frame films." Do you mean PHOTOGRAPHS, you pompous asshole? He even spelled a word wrong...perhaps they don't teach you how to spell in "Single Frame Film" school. Bah. Like I said, I haven't had a beer in three days....

Tabbing my life away

Good evening, bitches. I was going to have a video ready tonight showing my new workplace in downtown Jax, but I have decided that I will re-shoot it tomorrow afternoon (there was an ambulance driving by the entire time I was filming and I didn't notice). This is the beginning of my second week with the New Media department. Last week was Ok; there was a huge rush to get me out of Clay and downtown in order to start work with the other community publications, and then my boss had the week off. So I just kept doing the Clay thing.

In other news, one of the new reporters at the Sun, Joe, was laid off on Friday. There have been rumours flying around about company-wide lay-offs, and apparently those fears may be true. It's a shame, Joe was a decent guy and I hate to see him go. He was hired about 2 weeks before I was as the entertainment/government reporter. We all went out Friday night and had beer and pizza.

I have also decided that I am tired of the deluge of information I take in every day. Maybe it's ironic for somebody who loves (and works in) news to be exhausted from the constant flow of information, but I'm really getting tired of it.

Perhaps the obvious answer is to stop reading/watching so much, but sometimes I feel like there is just too much information to consume, no matter how many tabs I add to my netvibes.com feed. Maybe I need a week-long vacation from gorging myself on news. BUT I CANT

If you love me like I love myself (3 times a day)

Two funny short stories from my week so far, then that's it. That's it!

I was at Target last night doing my lonely, single-man grocery shopping. *Note to Cola residents: Targets here have an awesome grocery section. Like a Super Wal-Mart, minus the shoeless children fondling all the apples*

When I went to check out, the mushrooms didn't have a UPC sticker on it and she asked if I knew how much they were. I most certainly did not and so she made up a price. My final item was a 12 pack of Rolling Rock. That didn't have a price either and she asked if I knew how much it was. I most certainly did, it's $6.64 a case, which comes out to an awesome 50c a bottle.

When she asked I basically repeated my previous sentence to her, and then the guy behind me (who I hadn't noticed before), starting cracking up. I figured was he was laughing about and said something about not knowing how much mushrooms were but sure as hell knowing how much my beer was.

Hope that was awesome for you. Ready for part two?

It was today at work. My boss, the guy who told me I was being promoted last Friday, walked by while I was pretending to be busy. He didn't stop, he just said "Jonathan, you're the man," and gave a really dorky thumbs-up.

I said "I know I am," and gave him a return thumbs-up.

My coworkers were mortified and thought I was going to be fired. Apparently, and I really didn't mean to, I had replied in an "eat-shit" sarcastic voice. And then they said something about that not being the correct response to the man who runs the company.

Picture time!

Damn me

I realized today how much of a greedy, self-centered son-of-a-bitch I am.

I went grocery shopping at the nearby Publix and since the parking lot is super-tiny and always crowded, I parked in the very last row. When I came out with my bag of shrimp, peppers, garlic and booze, there was an ambulance parked right behind my car, with its lights flashing. My first thought was "Damn it, I've got to get home and make dinner and then go to work. I'm too busy to put up with this shit."

Then I realized that the ambulance was only there because some poor bastard was probably dying. So I felt ashamed and walked next door, bought a Starbuck's coffee, and watched an old homeless person being tied down to a stretcher and put into the ambulance.

Eventually the ambulance drove away and I left.

In other news, I got the world's worst promotion on Friday. As all of you know (now I know there are two of you; Nick, Forrest) I have been on a 7-day schedule with the newspaper and it's Web site. Friday I was called to a meeting and told that I was being put in charge of all of the community newspapers' Web sites, not just the one in Clay County. That makes 8 papers, which is more than 1.

How am I going to do it? No idea. But I get to start Monday morning.

The one good thing is that instead of working out in Clay County (which is outside of Jacksonville about 30 mins, kind of like Irmo to you Cola residents) I am officially a employee of the Times-Union's New Media department, one of the most respected new media depts on the east coast.

This blog is too long. Here is a picture.

Friends

I made a new friend today.

I was eating lunch when I met Perry. He was pretty cool, but then I ate him and threw him away. *Allen just pointed out that this Perry is like this Perry. As many of you know, I have a weird thing for Steve Perry. If you don't know, don't ask. Just don't stop believing*



In other news, the bloggers on my Web site are insanely conservative Christian. This is a direct quote: "we should all write "IN GOD WE TRUST " on the back of all our mail...after all, that is our national motto, and it's on all the money we use to buy those stamps. I think it is a wonderful idea. We must take back our nation from all the people who think that anything that offends them should be removed".

I am not kidding. I wish I was. When I moved to Jacksonville, I assumed that a large city meant a free-flowing of ideas, a willingness to accept all viewpoints. This is just like being back in TR.